Codependency is one of the biggest issues people face when living with a partner or family member who is struggling with alcohol addiction, or indeed any form of addiction.
It’s a cycle that can be difficult to break and, despite a person’s best intentions, is only destructive in an addictive person’s life. If you are living with someone who is struggling with addiction, even if they may not be aware of it, understanding the role codependency can play is so important in order to recognise the part you are playing.
So often people living with those suffering from alcohol addiction, require Alcohol Rehab in Surrey and don’t even realise they have fallen into this pattern of behaviour, so recognising the signs, what it means and the next steps can be instrumental in not only helping your loved one, but yourself too.
Understanding Codependency in Addiction
First and foremost, you’re going to want to understand codependency in addiction. Essentially, it’s a behavioural condition in which we prioritise the needs of others over our own. It’s a relationship dynamic that can throw up a number of common traits, including:
- Enabling substance abuse: This can include making excuses for your loved one, covering up their behaviour or even supplying them with alcohol or the money to consume it.
- Neglecting your own needs: We often prioritise a need to “fix” or “rescue” our loved one over ensuring our own health and wellbeing.
- Feeling responsible for their addiction: We often take the blame or responsibility for their actions, emotions and recovery.
- Struggle to maintain boundaries: We will compromise boundaries around their unhealthy behaviour in fear of rejection or abandonment.
Deep down, it’s clear to see that a lot of what can occur in codependency can come from a place of love or care, but all it is doing is sustaining the addiction and actually preventing healing, of which both you and your partner will be in a much better place.
The Link Between Addiction and Codependency
Codependency and addiction really do feed into one another. It can quickly become a destructive cycle that’s really difficult to break. Your loved one becomes reliant upon you and you can often feel a sense of purpose or identity in the fact that you’re “helping” them.
It can create a really difficult, damaging and draining relationship dynamic that can lead to things like:
- Emotional exhaustion
- Loss of self-identity
- Increased risk of you developing an addiction
It’s so important to recognise this and acknowledge that it’s unhealthy and your loved one needs help, for the benefit of both of you.
Breaking the Cycle of Addiction and Codependency
Healing from addiction and codependency requires effort from both the addicted person and the codependent individual. Here are key steps to breaking free from this destructive cycle:
Recognising the Problem
Of course, the first step towards meaningful change is recognising that you are part of a codependency and you are playing a part in their cycle of addiction. It’s not an easy process to go through, but it is a vital one. Getting help from a professional, such as a counsellor, support group or therapist can really help with this process.
Setting Healthy Boundaries
Codependent individuals often struggle with boundaries, allowing the addict’s behaviour to dictate their emotions and actions. Establishing firm yet compassionate boundaries is crucial. This may involve:
- Saying no to financial support that enables addiction.
- Refusing to cover up or lie for the addicted person.
- Prioritising self-care and personal well-being.
While setting boundaries can be challenging, it is necessary to foster independence and accountability.
Seeking Professional Help
Professional help really is the best way to help them get the help they need, as well as you getting helped with the unhealthy behaviours you’ve been developing as part of the codependency. There are plenty of options out there, with support groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous or Codependents Anonymousa good option, while rehab centres can also provide you with the support both you and your loved on needs.
Developing Independence and Self-Care
A key aspect of breaking the cycle is for both individuals to rediscover their own identities and build fulfilling lives outside of the addiction dynamic. This includes:
- Engaging in hobbies, social activities, and personal goals.
- Practising self-care through exercise, meditation, and healthy lifestyle choices.
- Learning to manage stress without relying on substances or unhealthy relationship patterns.
Encouraging True Support, Not Enabling
Support is essential for addiction recovery, but it must be constructive rather than enabling. Instead of shielding the addicted person from consequences, loved ones can encourage them to seek help, take responsibility for their actions, and engage in recovery efforts.
It can be incredibly difficult to break the cycle of codependency, but as is clear from the factors above, it’s incredibly necessary for the health of both of you, helping you both get your lives back and ensuring the relationship between you is strong, healthy and one where there isn’t a dependence, but an equal level of support for one another.
Breaking free from the cycle of addiction and codependency requires not only personal commitment but also the right support system. For those in the Portland area, finding the appropriate resources can be a crucial step in this journey. Looking for drug and alcohol rehab centers in Portland? Access to professional treatment facilities can provide the necessary guidance and support to help individuals and their loved ones navigate the complexities of recovery. By seeking out specialized care, individuals can work towards rebuilding their lives, fostering healthier relationships, and ultimately achieving long-term sobriety. This holistic approach is essential for addressing both the physical and emotional aspects of addiction and codependency.